Arrogance ---> Confidence

One of Siddhartha’s greatest triumphs as a character is the way that he overcomes his own arrogance. Over and over again, Siddhartha thinks he has it, thinks he is superior to others, only to realize his own humanity and flaw once again.

When Siddhartha first becomes a samana his first reaction upon walking through a town and seeing people at their daily tasks is that, “none of it was worth the trouble of a glance, it was all a lie, it all stank, it all stank of lies, it all gave the illusion of meaning and happiness and beauty, and it was all unacknowledged decay. The world had a bitter taste” (7). Yet for all the talk of how worthless this is, Siddhartha can’t stop looking around him, taking it all in. He is immediately failing at his one goal: “to become empty, empty of thirst, empty of wishes, empty of dreams, empty of joy and sorrow” (7).

Though Siddhartha recognizes flaws in doctrine and formal teaching (in that they are only instructional and not experiential), he begins to realize the misdirection and arrogance of the samana life, concluding when the head samana berates him and Govinda for leaving. It is at this point that he and Govinda leave to see the Sublime One, Gotama. This pattern of thinking you have something, to not having it, persists throughout the novel. As Siddhartha leaves Gotama’s grove he thinks, “he felt that in that grove his precious life, too, had remained behind him and had separated itself from him” (20). This idea of rebirth becomes central to the pattern of perceived reincarnation. For as Siddhartha phases from Brahman to a samana, to an enlightened traveler, to a wealthy business-man and lover, to a traveler again, to a ferryman, to being a father and finally ending up as the enlightened that has been his been his goal, at every stage he believes he has found his enlightenment until he realizes that he has again deceived himself.

Siddhartha’s vanity is a large part of his quest, serving as both a catalyst and as an obstacle; it becomes not only a strength as it propels him to continue his exploration but at other times his pride makes him stagnant as it does when he works with Kamaswami and becomes one of the ‘child-people’. When Siddhartha first encounters the ferryman it is his arrogance that causes him to ignore the ferryman’s words—“’I did not expect any payment from you, nor a guest’s gift. You will give me the gift another time’… I have learned from the river: everything returns. You, too, samana, will return” (27). Yet Siddhartha’s reaction is to dismiss the ferryman, “He is like Govinda…everyone I meet on my journey is like Govinda. They are all grateful even though they are the ones who deserve the thanks. They are all ready to serve me, they would all like to be my friends, to obey me without thinking hard about it. People are like children” (27).

This lack of humility is something that Siddhartha misses often throughout the novel. For the ferryman and the river he rows across will come to serve as Siddhartha’s most important, humbling teacher. Once Siddhartha finds his son, finds that his son has his own arrogance and disrespect he becomes the humbled, almost as his son’s servant—recognizing the cycle, the mirror of his son, to him, from himself to his father. Yet it is letting go of this son, whom he loves, as his own father had to let go of him, that marks an important change in Siddhartha: “Deeply he felt love for the runaway in his heart, like a wound, and at the same time he felt that this wound had not been given to him so that he should keep reopening it, but that it must become a blossom and emit radiance” (68).  

One gets the sense that Siddhartha before this would try to convert a wound by making a process and a goal out of it. When Govinda and Siddhartha meet for the last time, we understand that Siddhartha has found his enlightenment. Govinda asks Siddhartha about his seeking and what advice he has. Siddhartha’s answer seems to serve as a conclusion to this idea about journey’s and converting arrogance into confidence:

“When someone seeks,” Siddhartha said, “it is all too easy for his eyes to see nothing but the thing he seeks, so that he is unable to find anything or absorb anything because he is always thinking exclusively about what he seeks…Seeking means have a goal. But finding means being free, remaining accessible, having no goal…pressing after your goal, you fail to see many a thing that is right before your eyes.” (75)